Last week, Magdy spoke at church about listening to God. And that was something I felt God talking to me about, the need to hear him. So this week I have made a real effort to listen to Gods voice. Starting off badly though...the typical frustration, waiting in silence in my quiet times for an audible or nearly audible voice giving clear direction or words of knowledge, unsurprisingly it didnt happen and within two days almost gave up my quest with a frustrated eye thrust towards God in accusation.
It occurred to me that I was telling God HOW he should speak and so my next quiet time I just asked him to talk to me, to make me open and if there is anything I need to hear, let me hear as I am unable to make it happen myself. I still dont hear any audible voice, or any hints of direction or words of knowledge (YET, i must add!), but I am constantly checking myself to be re-aligned with Gods truth. I daily ask God to let me hear his "still, small voice", and its not words mostly, its like a realigning of my soul to him. In the morning, however I wake up thinking or feeling, I try to commit my mindsets to him. In all honesty, its a learning curve and I don't make it most of the time. And everytime I hear him, I then have a choice...to believe in what he has just said or not.
And i think this is where believing in or believing about comes into play. As a Christian, I would usually, unwittingly define a Christian as someone who believes certain things ABOUT God, Jesus and the Bible. I would even define myself as a Christian by admitting that I believe Jesus said the things he did and done the things he done. I believe the Bible, I believe what I read ABOUT Jesus. This, maybe is one of Satans greatest tricks...to get us to think that believing things about Jesus and God is the same as believing in them.
When God talks to me, (And Im afraid I can do little to describe how he does, it is like a touch in my spirit, in my mind which can alter my outlook on life if I choose it) I am faced with the choice to believe what he has just said, to believe that Im the apple of his eye, to believe that he is always with me, to believe that he loves the people around me, to believe he has (to coin a phrase from Delirious?) "set his hope in me". This can be so, so tough. When I wake up feeling unmotivated, tired, irritated, to believe these things and actually BELIEVE these things, and ACTUALLY BELIEVE THESE THINGS is really tough. It requires me to let go. To let go of my judgements, of my feelings, of my pride, of my abilities and lack of, to let go of my fears and expectations, to let go. So by the end of the day, ruts have formed, patterns in behaviour etc and often by that time, I will choose not to hear Gods voice as it could drastically disturb my carved out pattern for the day. If I've been moaning all day about a particular event, if I've been acting jovial and goofing (I know...what a great word!) around, I don't want to quiet myself, to hear Gods voice, to admit and accept that each moment of everyday is part of a quest to know more of God and closely linked with that, to enable others to know abit more about him. My temptation is to then, instead of humbling myself, just do things about God, talk about him, think about him, read about him. It seems to take the top off of the guilt that I feel for ignoring his voice.
Christians have a very good way of doing this, to do christian things, help people, read chrisitian things, listen to christian music, be nice, smile when at someone we don't like. Where is there acceptance of grace? I don't like grace because it offends me, it offends my pride, my "humility", my way of living and thinking and I know it will also offend others if I believe it, if I build my house on it. However, I have told God that I want him to do all he can to open my eyes to it, to get me to live in it. I believe that there is more to life than just doing things under different banners, I believe there is a way of living different that we can access. That statement would use to make me angry and scared, because I couldnt bring myself to believe it, there are many reasons not to; too good to be true, it will never happen for me, why isn't everyone else living there then? God is talking to me about this, I know that only he can do it, and I think I believe that much. However, its scary and tough because suddenly the world that I've got used to, that I may well have carved myself a nice identity out of, gets flipped right round and the things that matter to most, matter least, the things that matter least to most, matter most. And it scares me because in Christianity today there are loads of great things but what is rarely ever central is grace. I get filled with depsair that maybe that thing in me that cries out for something more is not found in our churches, the places I would most expect it. We are filled to the brim of the right cliches and sayings, but the people who live them always come under fire from people like me who love the quotes but dont believe that we can actually live like that.
We can, everyday, live in grace. We can, everyday, live in peace. We can, everyday, live in joy. All the "buts" in our head can be silenced, even though I find it hard to believe. If I constantly choose to listen to that voice, if I constantly choose to believe that voice, to believe what God says, bot just that he says it, I CAN LIVE IN GRACE. And all I'm wondering is what will it look like?
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Drama of Scripture "Review"
This may not be much of a review, I've basically gone through it making notes on things that stood out each chapter, I'll wrap it all up at the end though.
I think the prologue was my favourite part of the book. I remember one of my friends asking why I believed the Bible was absolute truth and then challenging me in asking "But you've got to admit the bible was written by people, its gonna have loads of mistakes". At the time, I mumbled something about God being able to do anything through anyone, which I believe 100% to be true, but which didn't quite do the queestion justice. The book quoted a Hindu guru who remarked about the bible that it was more than any other religious book, it was a whole way of looking at the world, a worldview, a different way to live your life. This really hit home, the bible is not just another book with other opinions, its not just a "religious" book...its a book on EVERYTHING, by EVERYONE. It's not the truth spelled out, if you like, not direct words from God like the Koran. The Bible, is alive, raw, fully human, fully God, a way to live, a story in which we find ourselves to steal from Mclaren. A story that encompasses all other stories, with respect, it is foundational.
So with this in mind, I could start to read the book about THE book with a fresh outlook. Creation was the first "act", which set the scene for the book and made "Drama" in the title fall into place. Creation sets everything else in perspective, I've heard it said that when we fully understand creation, we will understand everything else. The chapter spoke to me in underlining the reality and rawness of it all. Our relationship to God stands in the light of Creation, this is when the curtain comes up on the poetry of life. This is the defining difference between Materialistic and Theistic worldviews, materialism gives everything as meaningless facts and numbers, whereas theism gives everything a context, a story in which to play, in which we are a massive part of. He is intricately involved and reflected in the world, in nature, in us.
Act 2 covers the fall and the beginning of Israels idolatory. The theme that continues through this and every scene is the reliance on God that is needed. The constant flirting with God that Israel displays time and again, following God one minute, then seeking independence the next. In the days of foreign gods, we may be a little confused why the Israelites were tempted to worship them, but in that day it was what everyone was doing, and we all like doing what everyone's doing. It listed the idols of then and the modern day equivalent, alot of the gods meant they could indulge to their desires, yet becoming trapped in superstition, tradition and dissatisfaction, "such gods can never deliver what they promise". A timeless quote, how often, today we pursue idols that bring death in pursuit of identity, acceptance and independence, Israles exact motives. I liked the part about sin being a pursuit of autonomy, the rest is the consequences of that pursuit. The book describes sin as something that twists, not destroys, our gifts are best used when given back to God.
Act 3 was the toughest chapter, covering Israels journey, and with so much to go into, I found it to be little more than a commentary. The questions provided a good source of relating with alot of what is read but not understood in a few of the OT books. It compares Israels journey with that of a Christians, why they are different, the source of envy and disgust. On ehting I really liked that it picked up on in this chapter was how there were many prophets that had many different callings, and it compared it with today, how we often judge one another's differeing walks with God as not genuine but how God is in everyone of them. We are a body, not clones. The centre must remain as Jesus, not repentance, activism, brokenness or faith, the centre is Jesus. This was an especially tough chapter, focusing alot on society and politics. However, its challenges for today were spot on...idol worship in modern Chirstianity? Yes sir!
Then there was the interlude which I found quite interesting. It just set the scene onto which Jesus then appeared. I was abit disappointed that it didnt go into more detail about the other Messiahs, so that a comparison could have been made. I think one of the most interesting things in the whole book was found in the interlude, where it described the different groups at the time and the beliefs and practices that surrounded them at the time. How so often we look back at the practices of some of the groups and treat them as mad or extreme, whereas in our own day and in the context of this society we have the same groups but the lines are fuzzier. Pharisees, people who done what was considred good and right and looked down upon those who didn't, that doesnt sound to unfamiliar. This part of the book I found very eye opening and helpful.
Act 4 looked at the life of Jesus, which, again, had parts that were very helpful. The tempations of Jesus were explained very well, it hadn't really occured to me before that they were that symbolic, but they are all symbols of the expectations from the various groups because everyone of them things begins and ends with Satan. In reading my notes I have said that I would love to know the answer to the first question at the end of this chapter...Jesus talks about the "kingdom of God", but what language could we use in this day to communicate those truths? Its hard but it calls on us to do more than repeat what he said, it asks us to understand the HEART of the message and display that heart for today.
Act 5 wasnt massively impacting, it focused on the mission of the curch, although it did highlight how we often aim for the wrong things, often in this country we are not ver community centered. Act 6 is all about the "end of the world as we know it" if you like. What I loved about this chapter was how salvation, faith and creation all found their place in the scheme of things. It mentions how salvation isn't escape, it's a restoration. I found that it is incredibly important to think of it in this way because it gives purpose to our lives and justifies our desires, it is a "working out" of salvation, not a teleportation to paradise.
My thoughts of the book were on the whole was that it had parts of "enlightenment" and was generally very clear. It raised good, important issues and made sense of the bible as a whole and therefore our lives today. Despite points where it just seemed to be commentary and wasn't an easy read, it was a great way to start to understand the bible as a real book about real things with real implications for today.
I think the prologue was my favourite part of the book. I remember one of my friends asking why I believed the Bible was absolute truth and then challenging me in asking "But you've got to admit the bible was written by people, its gonna have loads of mistakes". At the time, I mumbled something about God being able to do anything through anyone, which I believe 100% to be true, but which didn't quite do the queestion justice. The book quoted a Hindu guru who remarked about the bible that it was more than any other religious book, it was a whole way of looking at the world, a worldview, a different way to live your life. This really hit home, the bible is not just another book with other opinions, its not just a "religious" book...its a book on EVERYTHING, by EVERYONE. It's not the truth spelled out, if you like, not direct words from God like the Koran. The Bible, is alive, raw, fully human, fully God, a way to live, a story in which we find ourselves to steal from Mclaren. A story that encompasses all other stories, with respect, it is foundational.
So with this in mind, I could start to read the book about THE book with a fresh outlook. Creation was the first "act", which set the scene for the book and made "Drama" in the title fall into place. Creation sets everything else in perspective, I've heard it said that when we fully understand creation, we will understand everything else. The chapter spoke to me in underlining the reality and rawness of it all. Our relationship to God stands in the light of Creation, this is when the curtain comes up on the poetry of life. This is the defining difference between Materialistic and Theistic worldviews, materialism gives everything as meaningless facts and numbers, whereas theism gives everything a context, a story in which to play, in which we are a massive part of. He is intricately involved and reflected in the world, in nature, in us.
Act 2 covers the fall and the beginning of Israels idolatory. The theme that continues through this and every scene is the reliance on God that is needed. The constant flirting with God that Israel displays time and again, following God one minute, then seeking independence the next. In the days of foreign gods, we may be a little confused why the Israelites were tempted to worship them, but in that day it was what everyone was doing, and we all like doing what everyone's doing. It listed the idols of then and the modern day equivalent, alot of the gods meant they could indulge to their desires, yet becoming trapped in superstition, tradition and dissatisfaction, "such gods can never deliver what they promise". A timeless quote, how often, today we pursue idols that bring death in pursuit of identity, acceptance and independence, Israles exact motives. I liked the part about sin being a pursuit of autonomy, the rest is the consequences of that pursuit. The book describes sin as something that twists, not destroys, our gifts are best used when given back to God.
Act 3 was the toughest chapter, covering Israels journey, and with so much to go into, I found it to be little more than a commentary. The questions provided a good source of relating with alot of what is read but not understood in a few of the OT books. It compares Israels journey with that of a Christians, why they are different, the source of envy and disgust. On ehting I really liked that it picked up on in this chapter was how there were many prophets that had many different callings, and it compared it with today, how we often judge one another's differeing walks with God as not genuine but how God is in everyone of them. We are a body, not clones. The centre must remain as Jesus, not repentance, activism, brokenness or faith, the centre is Jesus. This was an especially tough chapter, focusing alot on society and politics. However, its challenges for today were spot on...idol worship in modern Chirstianity? Yes sir!
Then there was the interlude which I found quite interesting. It just set the scene onto which Jesus then appeared. I was abit disappointed that it didnt go into more detail about the other Messiahs, so that a comparison could have been made. I think one of the most interesting things in the whole book was found in the interlude, where it described the different groups at the time and the beliefs and practices that surrounded them at the time. How so often we look back at the practices of some of the groups and treat them as mad or extreme, whereas in our own day and in the context of this society we have the same groups but the lines are fuzzier. Pharisees, people who done what was considred good and right and looked down upon those who didn't, that doesnt sound to unfamiliar. This part of the book I found very eye opening and helpful.
Act 4 looked at the life of Jesus, which, again, had parts that were very helpful. The tempations of Jesus were explained very well, it hadn't really occured to me before that they were that symbolic, but they are all symbols of the expectations from the various groups because everyone of them things begins and ends with Satan. In reading my notes I have said that I would love to know the answer to the first question at the end of this chapter...Jesus talks about the "kingdom of God", but what language could we use in this day to communicate those truths? Its hard but it calls on us to do more than repeat what he said, it asks us to understand the HEART of the message and display that heart for today.
Act 5 wasnt massively impacting, it focused on the mission of the curch, although it did highlight how we often aim for the wrong things, often in this country we are not ver community centered. Act 6 is all about the "end of the world as we know it" if you like. What I loved about this chapter was how salvation, faith and creation all found their place in the scheme of things. It mentions how salvation isn't escape, it's a restoration. I found that it is incredibly important to think of it in this way because it gives purpose to our lives and justifies our desires, it is a "working out" of salvation, not a teleportation to paradise.
My thoughts of the book were on the whole was that it had parts of "enlightenment" and was generally very clear. It raised good, important issues and made sense of the bible as a whole and therefore our lives today. Despite points where it just seemed to be commentary and wasn't an easy read, it was a great way to start to understand the bible as a real book about real things with real implications for today.
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